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As reported in the Huffington Post, Jimmy Carter (shown above) recently arranged to have a prisoner released from North [...]
Sex, Dating, Marriage,»
Rules To Sex Guide »
Fustilugs always likes to start with the basics. You’ll need to know these facts before dating lands [...]
DATING ALERT! CRAIGSLIST BANS »
Craig Alexander Newmark, founder of the Craigslist website best known for destroying the advertising [...]
National Bacon Association »
The National Bacon Association made this announcement today. According to their [...]
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Money, Investing &»
Financial Alert! Goldman Sachs To »
Tears fell and genuine sighs of despair sprinkled throughout Wall Street today after Goldman Sachs announced the sad headline news today. Yesterday GS [Read More]
Health, Diet &»
Weapons Alert! Utah »
Matthew S. Holland, president of Utah Valley University, made the expected announcement [...]
Health Alert! »
Reuters News Service recently reported that Kellogg agreed (reluctantly Fustilugs [...]
Movie Guide
Movie Alert! Right-Wing Playboy »
After Ann Coulter’s Lower East Side masseuse (Brucie P) read to her (she’s an unfortunate but non-apologetic illiterate) a recent Reuters squib (http://r.reuters.com/wap78m) that the idealized love in Hollywood romantic comedies damage marriages, the ultra-right wing [Read More]
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Politics Guide
Fustilugs Summer News Headline Wrap-up: Including Scoops on Limbaugh, Coulter, Palin, & Boehner
Headline #1: Craigslist Bans Mentions of Rush Limbaugh As Pornographic Craiglist now demands posts must refer to right-wing Pillpopper Rush (his friends’ moniker for him) as “Shim (sic) who must be sneered at”. Craigslist just today blocked all posts with Limbaugh’s name. The nickname Shim originated when Limbaugh starred in John [...]
Political Alert: Fustilugs Escapes From President Jimmy Carter In Aborted North Korean Prisoner Swap
As reported in the Huffington Post, Jimmy Carter (shown above) recently arranged to have a prisoner released from North Korean captivity (http://huff.to/bVIJgq). What was not revealed in this questionable piece of journalism was that Fustilugs escaped from a kidnapping in which he was supposed to have been swapped in Aijalon Gomes’ place (the [...]
Political Alert: Ayatollah Ali Khamenei Demands U.S. First Says “Pretty Please” To Resume Atomic Bomb Negotiations.
Supreme Iranian Poohbah, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei (called Wild Al by his friends in SAVAK, the country’s secret police) yesterday called on President Obama to beg him to resume nuclear disarmament talks. Reuter’s reported that all sanctions against Iran must come off the table as well http://r.reuters.com/nyv75n. Fustilugs met with Iran’s [...]
Movie Alert! Right-Wing Playboy Bunny Ann Coulter Demands End To Hollywood Romantic Comedies
After Ann Coulter’s Lower East Side masseuse (Brucie P) read to her (she’s an unfortunate but non-apologetic illiterate) a recent Reuters squib (http://r.reuters.com/wap78m) that the idealized love in Hollywood romantic comedies damage marriages, the ultra-right wing Fox TV deadpan comedian (see pic above) demanded that they be banned from [...]
Politics Alert! Sarah Palin and Rush Limbaugh Call For National Day Of Mourning Over Giving Benefits To The Jobless
Yesterday the Senate finally broke the elephant party’s deadlock and gave back benefits to jobless Americans. The leaders of the Republican Party were quick to wring their hands in despair. In a joint press release Sarah Palin and Rush Limbaugh called for all “real Americans – not the Godless commie Democrat bastards – to pray to Jesus [...]
Politics Alert! Rush Limbaugh Offers His Head As Official California State Rock
After California politicians took it upon themselves to take taxpayers time and money to consider the weighty decision of whether to maintain serpentine (an asbestos bearing piece of Mother Earth not found outside of Smithsonian's National Museum of Natural History) as its state rock (this is true: see http://nyti.ms/cP8ZkM) the leader of the [...]
Weapons Alert! Utah Valley University Demands Students Carry Concealed Guns
Matthew S. Holland, president of Utah Valley University, made the expected announcement today that all students must carry concealed guns on campus (see http://www.businessweek.com/news/2010-07-02/handguns-on-campus-make-utah-model-after-court-ruling.html). Holland spoke to Fustilugs in an exclusive interview explaining his action, “After the [...]
War Alert! House Minority Leader John Boehner Declares US Must Use Nuclear Weapons
Rep. John Boehner (R-OH) advised the editorial board of Pittsburgh Tribune-Review that nuclear weapons must be used on ants as part of Congress’ financial reform plans. Naturally the journalists were puzzled over the connection between the seemingly different ideas. So in an exclusive interview with Fustilugs John-The-Bomb (as his [...]
Politics Alert! Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts Hints At Handgun Decision At NRA
Supreme Court Chief Justice John (Gunner) Roberts (shown above in his usual weekend former NRA president Charlton Heston costume) gave a speech today at the National Rifle Association (NRA). He gave a wink and a nod to the attendees in his widely anticipated court decision to strike down all laws protecting cities from maniacs carrying hidden [...]
Business Alert! Obama To Oil Companies: – You Can Drill…But You Can’t Bring Up The Oil
As everyone knows, the court overturned the government’s right to protect our country by forbidding offshore oil drilling without proven safeguards. But our Obama was undeterred. Harvard graduate President Obama today showed he didn’t take William Shakespeare classes* for naught**. Borrowing from Bill’s play Merchant of Venice where the [...]